Sorry to be boring...Day 2!!!!
It is some time since I have been able to get through one day without a drink, even despite good intents, so I feel goodto have done it. I did have to take a sleeping pill, but it has worked well. I...
View ArticleDay 2----OOps
It's after 7p.m. Which is always danger time. All sorts of rationalitsations are going on in my mind.Like:I can handle one small drinkI could drink wine...as long as I don't drink spiritsI have been to...
View ArticleA good thing to do
I took the bottle of white that sits 'benignly' in the fridge out. I will never drink warm white wine!
View ArticleHolding in there just
Its 5 pm on day 3 and I am aware that this is the time I rationalize best, or worst, depending on perspective. I have held in....this is a grace.I have done this with smoking before. Perhaps never...
View ArticleA major lapse
Yesterday was day 5/6Everything was going quite wellI'd been to Dr psych in the morning and told him how I was going. To be sure he always seems sceptical about total,abstinence. Who knows what that's...
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Whacky old day and a couple of graces
So any way, as I said in the last post, I am glad I didn't feel like shit this morning after yesterday's lapse. BUT I have felt so tired, could barely get out of bed this morning. I half suspect that...
View ArticleI am not doing well
It is day 7/8 and as I write this I am blotto. Smashed out of my mind on gin, I am watching porn....a guy sucking a cock...which I wish I was sucking too!!!This may surprise youThere is no doubt in my...
View ArticleWish I was doing better
I am feeling OK, but not resisting the booze.This is really hard. There is no doubt that if you have an 'addictive personality' then one thing will just replace another.And it is very easy to...
View ArticleBadly rationalized !
I did note some days ago that a drunk can rationalize anything . So yes I have drunk Yes I have bought quite a lot of booze.I have drunk quite a lot of it.Ad I have tipped a lot of it down the toilet...
View ArticleTwo weeks
To be sure to be sure! (it is St Pat's Day after all) it has been two weeks since I started this blog.A bit of a roller coaster, but I am probably better than I was. Have probably not managed to...
View ArticleFour weeks
It has been a while since the last post. Today is week 4 and it is difficult to look back and see that I have been successful in any way what soever. In fact I have probably been worse.Yesterday,...
View ArticlePTL
Heading up for the second day in a row!Had to self-talk a bit in the late afternoon, as I watched a movie about people having fun drinking, I felt real pangs. This is maniacal, they were not drinking...
View ArticleAlmost made it
I thought that I had almost made a week...but I defeated myself. Knowingly and willingly, and dare I say sinfully ....though I a trying to keep that sort of loaded language out of this. What happened?...
View ArticleA bit better
Went for a whole week last week, then had a few drinks on Friday....a mistake of course.At least I realized this and have now had three clear days of my own volition.There is a lot going on in my life...
View ArticleHad done well
Went for over a week. Even refused wine with dinner on Thursday and told my host I had stopped. Then went to lunch on Friday at an Irish pub and was offered a guiness and hummed and hashed...but it was...
View ArticleOh dear!
Was going quite well. Went out to dinner on Saturday and had three tiny drinks. Probably less than a standard drink.Then yesterday, I got stuck at home . On Saturday knocking the edge off had already...
View ArticleMild modification
I guess the only thing I can really say is that things are slightly....only slightly...better I am certainly not out of the woods. But I am not buying gin every day, and sometime I can say noYesterday...
View ArticleCrunch point
There is a crunch point tonightIt's got to be the endWhile I got close to stoppingI didn'tAnd though I made the usual rulesNo drinking aloneNo daytime drinking Only two drinksYarda Yarda .....I...
View ArticleMinor victory-saving what I can
It is at least now August 14 and I have not drunk since August 11The impetus has been the disasters of the last few days...so at least something is salvaged.I have panicked. I have felt like crap. But...
View ArticleIt does need to be said
That today is 18 August and I have not had any drink since the events of last Saturday night.So it will be a week tonight.I do realize that the alcohol was filling a hole.....and emotional hole....the...
View ArticleVery patchy
It's been very patchy in the last few weeks. After a time away when I was forced not to drink (because of unavailability) I felt really well. There couldn't have been a clearer indication of the way...
View ArticleBit better
The last week has been a bit bad.But I have been clear for a few days now. Last night was close. I had it rationalised (5 p.m.as usual) that when K came home she and I could enjoy a drink together. At...
View ArticleA week
The last week has been significantly better. I have had a mouthful of wine and a chinese beer. Night after night I have got to 5 p.m. and felt a pang....but I have acknowledged it as a pang and moved...
View ArticleMoving ahead
I have worked pretty hard in the last couple of weeks....using the Sedona Method to practice detachment and emotional release. The idea is pretty Buddhist in the sense of letting go of anything that...
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